Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Rory defends snubbing media, cites 'weird week' - ESPN

I have complete contempt for fakery

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have a reading level above third grade

Horoscope for Thursday, June 12, 2025 - Chicago Sun-Times

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand how hurricane paths work

N.J. resident traps rabid raccoon, officials say - NJ.com

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I can count

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

49ers trade a 2026 conditional fifth-round pick for Bryce Huff - NBC Sports

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Bryce Huff thankful he landed with 49ers - NBC Sports

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Sony responds to concerns about Nintendo Switch 2 impacting PlayStation’s business - Nintendo Everything

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

What should a young woman do to control sagging breasts?

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

What sensitive TikTok data is the US afraid will fall into the hands of the Chinese government that is causing a potential threat to national security?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I see through liars

The #1 Spice to Help You Poop, According to Dietitians - EatingWell

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

What is that one moment in your life when you felt "I am awesome"?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Trump puts U.S. Steel cart before the horse - Axios

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Do you know a good lawyer joke?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have complete contempt for traitorism

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I actually pay taxes

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I can read

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that